This is one for the ages. For 4 years, Daddy Charles has been saving a Heart Shaped potato chip in a zip lock bag. He recently rediscovered it while cleaning in preparation of his move to Florida. He gave it to me with strict instructions to put in on eBay. Check it out here. I figure we’ve got 6 days to turn this thing into an international sensation. Tell your friends, email Denmark, do whatever you have to do. This is important people.

In quasi-related news; a shell resembling “The Money You Could Be Saving With Geico” has also been put up on eBay. Check it out here. Don’t ask, just check it out.

]]> http://www.mikecharles.net/blog/2009/07/07/daddy-charles-ebay-what/feed/ 0 http://www.mikecharles.net/blog/2009/05/14/766/ http://www.mikecharles.net/blog/2009/05/14/766/#comments Thu, 14 May 2009 21:12:05 +0000 Mike Charles http://www.mikecharles.net/blog/?p=766

Ever wonder what would happen if your healthy obsession for bean bag chairs were to collide were to collide with your love of sexy legs and desire for upscale furnishings? Oh that’s right, straight from our “I guess it had to happen eventually” desk it’s the Sumo Lounge, an online retailer selling only the highest quality bean bag chairs [hot girl not included].

If you ever though I need a bean bag chair, but I want the Cadillac model, and lets say you just happened to win $400 dollars on a scratch-off lottery ticket yesterday, then this is the website for you.

Oh and btw, I’m pretty sure when T.S. Eliot said “This is the way the world ends” I’m pretty sure he was referring to things like high-end bean bag chairs and the cult of the snuggie.

WTF? Here is a hint.

It figures that I just posted a list of my DJ gear last week. Here is what basically happened. I bought a pair of  Denon DN-HP 1000 headphones for $150 about 15 or 16 months ago [remember that number for later] to replace a set of old worn out Sony MDR-V700 headphones. After years of use, the Sony’s were starting to crack and the sound quality was deteriorating.

Shortly after I got the Denon’s there was a problem with the wire near the plug and I would have to wiggle it to get sound in both ear cups. I found a good spot in the connection and then electrical taped the sh*t out of it to hold the wire in place. Problem averted, but unfortunately it was only the first of many. Read on to find out what else happened, see more pictures, and find out what Denon told me when I contacted them.

So after 6 or 7 months of ownership one of the cups broke clean off of the headband right at the bottom of the height adjustment piece and was left dangling by the sound connection wire. Fortunately that wire didn’t sever, so I was still getting sound from the ear cup. I decided to do one of my custom white duct tape jobs on the cup to get it back where it belonged. It was tough but it worked. Now I have a large head, so the height adjuster is a necessity for me, but i figured as long and the other side of the headband still adjusted I would be ok. I think you can guess what happens next…

The other night [04/25/09] I had a gig with Randy Boyer and Kristina Sky at Room 960 up in Hartford. The White Party, as its called, is the annual event the 3 of us get together for, and its a big event with a lot of people. Sure enough, right in the middle of the biggest gig I’ve had yet in ’09, the cup on the other side of the headphones snapped off the headband in the exact same place. All the pictures you are seeing were taken by the talented Mikey NcNulty right after it happened. Despite the internet rumor that I’ll probably start myself next week, No I did not bite my headphones in half. I had to yell for Randy, and borrow his headphones just to finish my set, which by the way came out pretty good despite this [it'll be a future episode of the DanceCast].

Obviously I was none to happy that in a little over a year my on the expensive side headphones had basically disintegrated. So I decided to email Denon:

Dear Denon,

I’ve owned a pair of your HP 1000 headphones for a little over a year
now. I bought them for their superior sound quality, which has always
been great. Unfortunately I can not say the same for the build
quality.

Not long after I bought them i started experiencing issues with the
sound, due to a bad connection near the plug. I had to wiggle the cord
till i found a decent spot and then electrical tape the heck out of it
to ensure it wouldn’t move.

Then 6 months ago one of the ear cups broke off, right where the ear
cup meets the size adjustment slider. Fortunately the wire didn’t
sever, so I closed the slider and duct tapped the thing back together.
I figured as long as the other slider still worked I’d be ok.

Sure enough, during a gig the other night the other side broke in the
same spot. I had to borrow a friends set of headphones just to finish
my set.

Are their any recall or repair programs I should be aware of? Any
chance you guys can fix these things for me? I’d like to think that
maybe I just got a bum pair and that not all of your headphones have
similar problems.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

-Mike Charles

Denon customer support replied to me the next business day. I can’t post their response because of the legal notice attached to the bottom, but the gist of there response was this:

• There are no recalls or repair programs.
• They have a 1 yr warranty.
• If the warranty has expired, you should look at buying new headphones b/c repairing them would not be cost effective.

Now I had told them in my initial email that I had owned them for over a year, so that basically leaves us with bullet #3. While I’m glad they didn’t insult me by offering to fix them for $250, I was extremely surprised that they wouldn’t even make an attempt at satisfying a customer. What really killed me was them saying I should buy new headphones. I felt like saying “Well gee thanks for suggestion, I’ll buy headphones from a company who gives a sh*t” but I instead responded with something more level headed:

Unfortunately, this is the answer I was expecting. I would have hoped
that you valued customer loyalty a bit more than to suggest I go out
and buy a new set of headphones.

I will heed your suggestion and look at replacing the headphones. I
can tell you that they will most certainly not be Denon brand. Also
when asked for recommendations, I can’t in good faith recommend a set
of headphones that fall apart right after the warranty period expires.

Thank you for your prompt response.

-Mike Charles

You know what Denon’s response was? Nothing, they went radio silent. I would have thought an apology was in order at the very least. I was wrong.

So now I’m hear to warn you. If you are in the market for DJ Headphones and are looking for a set with:

• Great, crisp, clear sound reproduction
• Cord problems
• Will fall apart if you look at them with a mean face
• No durability whatsoever
• Will fail when you need them the most
• Assh*le customer support

If that is what you are looking for, the the Denon DN-HP 1000′s are definitely the set of cans for you! If you see this post disappear, you can rest assured that Denon’s legal department has gotten ahold of it. I bet they’ll respond to my emails.

Norton and McAfee secretly teamed up to create malware for OS X in order to sell copies of their anti-virus software. At least that is the completely unfounded internet rumor I just made up, for no reason other than to see what will happen.

Seriously though, there have been a few reports of virus and malware activity over the last year on the Mac platform so stay safe!

I’m not even going to attempt to describe this one. Just check out the video above, think about the amount of effort this must have took, then imagine Daddy Charles making an endless slew of sheep f*cker jokes.

As you can see from the picture, it kinda like a lego version of airport security. So where is this going? Check of the Amazon page for this thing and read the comments. They go down hill fast, and appear to have been written by people with my sense of humor. Here is comment #1 

I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger’s shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger’s scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said “that’s the worst security ever!”. But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital. 
The best thing about this product is that it teaches kids about the realities of living in a high-surveillence society. My son said he wants the Playmobil Neighborhood Surveillence System set for Christmas. I’ve heard that the CC TV cameras on that thing are pretty worthless in terms of quality and motion detection, so I think I’ll get him the Playmobil Abu-Gharib Interogation Set instead

… and it only gets crazier from there. Credit to Steve from The Tea Party for sending this one to me.

There is also a website called snuggiesightings.com. This one is so out of control, I had to create a new category for the blog called Ridiculous.

I figure its only a matter of days before my friend and webmaster posts this on his blog without crediting me, just like he did with Bigfoot-Nessie.